lacking

So much in my head and on my heart...

This time, it's not really about me. It's about those dear to me. I don't question God's will or reason. Not at all.

The one thing I do question or wonder is what, if anything, can I do to help? To comfort? To show love? I will continue to do what I can. It has been said and shown to me time and again that my gift is exhortation. I do not trust that I am good at much, but I believe I have been blessed in a way that allows me to (wisely) encourage and advise. I used to think this was dumb and wished I had a "better" or "cooler" gift. But the more I think about it, I am SO thankful. What an awesome way to be a support to others! I often feel so helpless, but I know God has provided me a skill that can help show people LOVE.


I wish I had the words right now; that I was a song-writer so I could pick up my guitar and create something beautiful that sings from my heart and could reach others in a meaningful way. I know I can still reach people, but I just have the urge this moment for that creativity and art.





I started reading the book of Job again on my flight home from Colorado. I've heard the story and read it before, but it's been a very long time since I've read it. It's much different than I remember. This time, I can feel myself in the scene, as if I am a silent listener, sitting in on the conversation between Job and his friends. I imagine sitting in the dirt together, cross-legged, staring at the ground and praying for the right thing to say. I would glance up every now and again to search for any cues from the others on the next action to take. As time passes, the situation grows heavier and remains solemn.

When Job's three friends [...] heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him. When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him. They began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads. Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was.

I can relate. Having no words and being in awe of the situation. I sit there, seeing such a beautiful friend, someone undeserving of such pain, ensconced in doubt and worry, and try to grasp it all and find a way to comfort and heal. To bring the light and hope back around. To show meaning and LOVE.

It's a hard world we live in.
But I believe that love prevails.
Something's going to work out in the end.

Finally, someone will speak. And ______.
What is "_____"? Only something that is right for that moment. That is right between those friends, and it will become apparent just what that needs to be, when the time comes. Those conversations/moments always have some sort of sanctity--often a taste of something bitter-sweet that is special. It's almost a secret. It's not intended to be kept quiet but it's not meant to be shared, either. These are the bonds we have that show love. In the end what did we do? Nothing other than be there and care. And then I suppose the rest will just fall into place.